“I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: respect
Tags: respect, Rodney Dangerfield
Tag: Rodney Dangerfield
I drink too much. The last time
“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: time
Tags: time, Rodney Dangerfield
My marriage is on the rocks again,
“My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: marriage
Tags: marriage, Rodney Dangerfield
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It
“Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: time
Tags: time, Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and
“I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: pet
Tags: pet, Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door
“My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: home
Tags: home, Rodney Dangerfield
I remember the time I was kidnapped
“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: time
Tags: time, Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born I was so
“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: medical
Tags: medical, Rodney Dangerfield
My mother had morning sickness after I
“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: morning
Tags: morning, Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my
“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: morning
Tags: morning, Rodney Dangerfield
My wife wants sex in the back
“My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Category: car
Tags: car, Rodney Dangerfield