“The next time you have a thought… let it go.”
— Ron White
Author: Ron White
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Ron White
Tag: funny
When I was doing ensemble theater and
“When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked.”
— Whoopi Goldberg
Author: Whoopi Goldberg
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Whoopi Goldberg
Progress was all right. Only it went
“Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.”
— James Thurber
Author: James Thurber
Category: funny
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I am accusing him of stealing my
“I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.”
— Frank Carson
Author: Frank Carson
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Frank Carson
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
— George Burns
Author: George Burns
Category: funny
Tags: funny, George Burns
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork
“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”
— W. Clement Stone
Author: W. Clement Stone
Category: funny
Tags: funny, W. Clement Stone
Every time I see an adult on
“Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.”
— H. G. Wells
Author: H. G. Wells
Category: funny
Tags: funny, H. G. Wells
Life was a funny thing that happened
“Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.”
— Quentin Crisp
Author: Quentin Crisp
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Quentin Crisp
You need to be silly to be
“You need to be silly to be funny.”
— William Shatner
Author: William Shatner
Category: funny
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I have a funny family, but none
“I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.”
— Wanda Sykes
Author: Wanda Sykes
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Wanda Sykes
My wife has a slight impediment in
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
— Jimmy Durante
Author: Jimmy Durante
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Jimmy Durante