“Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.”
— Samuel Butler
Author: Samuel Butler
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Samuel Butler
Category: funny
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing
“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”
— Phyllis Diller
Author: Phyllis Diller
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Phyllis Diller
People say that life is the thing,
“People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.”
— Logan P. Smith
Author: Logan P. Smith
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Logan P. Smith
When I eventually met Mr. Right I
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
— Rita Rudner
Author: Rita Rudner
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Rita Rudner
People who think they know everything are
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
— Isaac Asimov
Author: Isaac Asimov
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Isaac Asimov
I sometimes lie awake at night trying
“I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.”
— Lyn Nofziger
Author: Lyn Nofziger
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Lyn Nofziger
I like a woman with a head
“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
— Steve Martin
Author: Steve Martin
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Steve Martin
The digital camera is a great invention
“The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.”
— Demetri Martin
Author: Demetri Martin
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Demetri Martin
Memories are doing funny things to us.
“Memories are doing funny things to us.”
— Milos Forman
Author: Milos Forman
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Milos Forman
A lot of funny stuff happens in
“A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada.”
— Samantha Bee
Author: Samantha Bee
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Samantha Bee
I have a love interest in every
“I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.”
— Arnold Schwarzenegger
Author: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Category: funny
Tags: funny, Arnold Schwarzenegger